Only In The Philippines

PINOY SIGNS:

Posted outside a house in Jaro, Iloilo :
HOURSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED
(Boy, it must really be hot in there.)

On a glass window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan :
WE SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU WAIT

Posted at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHULI, BOG-BOG!

On the fence of a makeshift parking lot in Pasay :
PARKING PEE: P10

Printed on a streamer in front of a gym in Lucena City :
We Almost Have Complete Set of Gym Equipments
(Now, how's that for truth in advertising? )

In a supermarket in Baguio :
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE

Outside a flower shop along Avenida Rizal:
WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS

In a bowling center in Congressional:
PARKING FOR COSTUMERS ONLY

In a restaurant in Cebu :
WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL

On the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue near National Bookstore (but this was a long time ago):
WANTED: WAITER, CASHIER, WASHIER

In San Andres, Manila :
NO URINATION ON THE OVER WALLS

In a classified ads section:
WANTED SALESLADY, 20-25 YEARS OLD, PROBABLY SINGLE

Outside a sari-sari store in front of Green Valley in Baguio :
NO CRIDET

In a building in Cubao:
NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY

Outside a videoke bar in Pampanga:
WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE

The name of a laundry shop in Bo. Kapitolyo in Pasig :
CINNAVON

On the gate of a house in Tarlac:
COLD ICED BUKO 4 SALE

Posted outside a beauty shop in Laguna:
WE ALSO DO FULL BODY MESSAGE

In Tiaong, Quezon:
ROAN'S CONTRACTION SUPPLIES

Outside a shoe store in Pangasinan:
WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES

In a restaurant in Baguio :
WANTED: BOY WAITRESS


Names of Philippine business establishments. If you still speak some Filipinos, you might enjoy the humor; otherwise, pass it on to your Filipino-speaking friends. The humor gets lost in the translationâ?

Bread Pitt is a a bakery.
Maruya Carey is a a fast-food place selling turon and maruya in Greenbelt , Makati
Caintacky Fried Chicken is a an eatery in Cainta, Rizal.
Mang Donald's is a a burger joint at the Naga City plaza.
Candies Be Love? Can anything be sweeter than this?
Doris Day and Night is a a 24-hour eatery.
Babalik Karinderia is obvious.
Holland Hopia is owned by Mr. Ho.and next-door neighbor Poland Hopia is owned by Mr. Po. in Chinatown
Miki Mao is a a noodle house.
Tapsi Turbi is a a tapa house.
Cleopata's is a a manukan and bakahan.
Goto Heaven is obvious.
The Fried of Marikina is a a fried chicken house.
Wrap and Roll is a a lumpia outlet at the Quad, Makati .
Pansit ng taga-Malaboni is a a panciteria on Boni Avenue , Mandaluyong.
Side-saki is a a side street eatery beside Mandarin Oriental in Makati .
Let's Goat-Together is a kambingan-cum- beer garden.
Meating Place is a a meat shop.
Meatropolis is a another meat shop.
Isda best,Pusit to the limit,and Hipon coming backare entrees on the menu of a seafood restaurant.
Cinna Von is a laundromat.
Pier Carding is a a tailoring shop in Pier, Manila .
The Way We Wear is a boutique.
Curl Up and Dye is a a beauty salon.
Goldilooks is a barber shop.
Bote Nga Sa 'Yo is a used bottle shop.
Goldirocks is a gravel and sand shop.
Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits is a video rental shop in Palawan .
Leon King is a Video Rental in Las Pinas.
Memory Drug is a clone of Mercury Drug.
Petal Attraction is a flower shop near UP Diliman.
Susan's Roses is a flower shop, but of course!
Maid to Order is a maid-placement agency.
Singalong Sing-along is a karaoke bar in Singalong (where else?).


Signs seen on jeepneys:
A commuter is a jeepsetter
Pull string to stop driver.
God knows Hudas not pay.
Don't get close to me, get close to God.