Ang Panliligaw - Bob Ong Style

Do you know Mr. Bob Ong, ang pinaka-weird na taong tagabugay ng payo, mapa-tungkol sa bahay, pag-ibig, karera, kapitbahay, at kung anu-ano pa. Here's a sample, enjoy :)

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,
Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong chik na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?
Lubos na gumagalang,-MATT --

ANG REPLY -
Dear MATT,Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at suman mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na LANG talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart.”
2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”
3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”
4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.
5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”
6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”
7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.
8. Itext mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”
9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”
10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”
11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"
12. Pagkatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"
13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."
14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”
Handang tumulong lagi,
-Bob Ong-

About Men, for Women

Oprah wrote this about men...
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy...
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are....even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships....there is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.
Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

one of the coolest blog... :)

http://saulkrisna.blogspot.com/

DaVaO, dAvAo, DaVao

... last Sunday, i was so exctied sa magiging OB trip namin ni Che... and yes, im going to davao with che. 1st time na may kasama ako out of town... and masama nga yata talaga ang sobrang excited coz instead na makasakay kami ng plane ng 7:55am, we ended at 11:55am flight... inshort naiwan kaming dalawa ni Che... LATE AKO! we tried na makiusap sa counter dahil hindi pa naman boarding e... so bakit hindi na pwede??? sobrang na-shock kami. and we have no choice but to buy another ticket going to Davao. At mas lalo pa kaming na-shock ng malaman namin kung magkano ang dapat naming bayaran... read : it's 5,127, imagine... parang gusto ko ng umuwi at pumasok kinabukasan na may dala ng resignation letter. i hate my life... but most especially... i hate myself. before, sabi ko sa sarili ko, mas ok pag ang OB namin out-of-town kasi pwede kaming mag-taxi unlike pag within metro manila lang, hindi pwede... and sobrang takot kasi akong mag-commute lalo na pag jeep or bus and lalo na pag 1st time sa lugar. but after this... grabe, 5k agad... hirap ka na, butas pa ang bulsa... saan ka pa. sa plane, di ko alam kung pang-asar ba talaga or what... ang prize ng Cebu pacific sa kanila fun game.... guess what???? sunsilk shampoo.. hahahahaha, akala ko souvenir item from CEB (kasi yun naman talaga), hay natawa na lang kami ni Che... so to cut the story short... we had our lunch before pa mag-boarding, buti hindi delayed ang flight. 1:30 nasa davao na kami ad when we saw our room (we stayed at Microtel Hotel)..... ..... ..... shocks... ang ganda! sabay pa kami ng reaction ni che... hahahahaha parang nawala yung iniisip namin kanina. konting picture-picture then punta na kami sa store....
Sa store (Robinsons Cybergate Mall - Davao):
How nice of them... ready na ang mga items for scanning (syanga pala, kaya kami nasa Davao is for the scanning activity, we do that to all new stores of RSC bago pa magbukas, to avoid problems sa mga POS). cashiers and merchandisers ang mga nakatulong namin, mababait silang lahat... actually even the officers pala :)... 7:00pm, we decided na i-continue na lang tomorrow ang scanning, so after 15mins nasa hotel na ulit kami... kakapagod... sobra... buti na lang ang mcdo ay nasa harap lang namin... medyo nakakapag-move on na kami ni Che, tumatawa na kami hehehehehehe :)

2nd day (may 5):
we woke up at 6am (we have to be in the store at 7am):
.. so continue lang sa scanning, scan.. scan... oopsss... item not found... check.... check... barcode not found.... check again... paging Sir Jofu or Dave of ISD to customer service pls.....

Lunch... we decided to have our lunch sa People' Park... badtrip! 1pm pa mag-oopen ang park... huh! ano ba yan... so hanap muna kami ni che ng makakainin... a kami ay napunta sa TAPS... (tapsilog, tocilog,..etc.) syempre kung saan ang mura dun kami since P70.00 lang ang meal budget namin (sigh!) ok naman... nagtanong kami sa guard kung malapit lang ba ang butterfly farm but ubfortunately hindi daw nya alam... pero since sabi ko nga kanina mababait ang mga taga-Davao... yung isang customer na medyo malapit lang sa tabi namin, tinanong kami kung ano daw yung hinahanap namin... so sabi namin butterfly farm.. yes! alam nya daw... malapit lang daw sa crocodile farm sa may ma-a... tapos bigla kaming nalungkot kasi 30mins na taxi pa daw to get there... hay.... wawa naman.... so hinintay na lang namin na magbukas ang park... umupo kami sa bangketa at naghintay... hintay... hintay.... 1pm na. yes, so pasok na kami... wah... ang init... pero wala kaming kiber :) picture dito picture duon... then taxi ulit pabalik ng store :). mga 5:30, tinanong namin si Ms.Cel kung saan ba pwedeng bumili ng pasalubong... sabi nila ok daw ang Lola Abong's... so paglabas namin ng store ng 6:30... gosh ang lakas ng ulan... may bayo ba... takbo kami kahit umuulan at sakay ng taxi... "manong alam nyo po ba ang lola abong's" "anong kalye sya... hindi ako masyadong pamilyar e" naku patay na, pareho naming hindi alam so sabi namin baba na lang kami buti na lang mabait si manong at ibinaba kami sa waiting shed..., sunod na taxi... out of the way daw pa-garahe na sya... sunod ulit na taxi... ayun alam na nya... nung una akala namin kung saan na kami pina-ikot ikot, ang tagal eh... then nung pauwi na kami we realized na hindi naman pala... malayo sya talaga... pag-uwi, nag jeep na lang kami (sayang ang pamasahe hehehehehe) nagtanong kami kung paano makabalik ng Damosa... sa kanto.. lakad takbo ulit kami ni che habang umuulan ng malakas... nag tak-out na lang kami sa mcdo ng dinner namin... ang problema... ang lakas ng ulan,... tumakbo na lang kami ulit kesa maghintay.... hahahahaha sobrang basa kami, pwedeng pigain ang damit... gosh! sa hotel, biglang nagbrown-out ( ano ba namang buhay toh tsk! tsk! tsk!) pero may generator naman, di na nga lang pwede ang generator... so tiningnan na lang namin ang mga pictures namin kanina :) ooppss may kuryente na. yehey!!!! watch watch watch ng tv. tomorrow, balik na kami ng manila.... gudnyt

day 3 (may 6):
breakfast at 8am, super madali kami... dapat 8:30am alis na kami ng hotel going to airport (10:10am ang flight namin)... so ok naman naman ang breakfast, pag-akyat namin to get our things... aba.. ayaw ba namang mabuksan ang pinto ng room namin... hay... ano ba 'tong nangyayari sa amin... kung kelan nagmamadali..... sa airport... check-in na kami agad at hintay sa waiting lounge... hehehehe ang aga na namin... hay... mahirap na masaya naman kami ni Che... sabi nya nga naging masaya naman daw kami :)

dAvao:

1. merong non-aircon taxi (flat rate is 26.00)
2. cab drivers : super courteous lahat
3. malinis ang davao
4. hindi nakakatakot magtanong sa mga tao, hindi ka nila lolokohin
5. pwedeng gumamit ng cellphone kahit habang naglalakad sa kalye
6. accommodating sila

... and he is going to die!!!!

... yes, he is going to die. who? well... whoelse but my ________! (unfortunately, he is my #^&@)(%) grrr... (evil grin!) i hate him so so so much... i hate the fact that he is indeed my #^&@)(%. and i want him out of my sight forever. as in forever... i know this may sounds odd, but you dont know him... and hindi nyo gugustuhin na makilala pa sya. promise.... i want him OUT FOREVER.!!!! sH#T!

I DONT WANNA SEE HIS FACE FOREVER.

... sorry Lord, if I need to say this... but i hope you do understand. He is the most boorish, most ruthless, most self-centered, most S@#T person i've ever known. dAmn!

Pacquiao Stuns Hatton with second-round KO

LAS VEGAS - Manny Pacquiao was dominating. Ricky Hatton was left helpless. Pacquiao cemented his claim to being the best pound-for-pound boxer Saturday night with a spectacular performance that ended with Hatton sprawled out on the canvas after a devastating left hand to the head late in the second round.

Coming off an overwhelming win over Oscar De La Hoya, Pacquiao was even better against Hatton, knocking him down two times in the first round before finally stopping him with a vicious left hand that dropped Hatton for good in the 140-pound title bout.
Referee Kenny Bayless took one look at Hatton and declared the fight over at 2:59 of the round.

"I didn't have to count," Bayless said.

Pacquiao needed less than half a round to figure out the onrushing Hatton, hitting him with a flurry of punches midway through the first round before putting him down for the first time with a right hook to the head. Hatton got up at the count of eight but Pacquiao landed another flurry and dropped him again just before the end of the round.

Hatton attempted to carry the fight to Pacquiao in the second round but was mostly ineffective as Pacquiao sized him up for a big punch. It finally came at the end of the round when he landed a left cross that flattened the English fighter.

"I'm surprised the fight was so easy," Pacquiao said. "He was wide open for the right hook. I knew he would be looking for my left."

Pacquiao was a 2-1 favorite, but few thought Hatton would go easily. His only loss came when he was stopped in the 10th round by Floyd Mayweather Jr., and he built a career and a reputation as a tough and aggressive fighter who wore his opponents down.

But he stood no chance against Pacquiao, whose punches came straight down the middle and landed with increasing frequency as the fight went on.

"I was just doing my job," said Pacquiao, who is a national hero in the Philippines and is fast becoming a hero among boxing fans. "I always try to do my best in the ring."
Pacquiao's best on this night quickly quieted a boisterous crowd of 16,262 at the MGM Grand arena, many of them who came over from England to sing and chant Hatton's praises. They didn't even get a chance to warm up, though, before Hatton was on the canvas for the first time of the night.

"The fight was no surprise to me," Pacquiao's trainer, Freddie Roach, said. "We know he always pumps his hands before he throws a punch. He's a sucker for the right hook."
Hatton finally rose from the canvas after several minutes as doctors tended to him and Pacquiao's corner celebrated. He walked from the ring with a wry grin on his face, while his fans serenaded him with one last verse of "Winter Wonderland."

"That's boxing," said Floyd Mayweather Sr., Hatton's trainer.

On the same day Mayweather announced his return to the ring with a July 18 fight against Juan Manuel Marquez, Pacquiao stole the undefeated former champion's thunder with a performance that was so lopsided it looked like a sparring session. The southpaw easily got away from Hatton's wild advances and just as easily hit him with punches that shouldn't come from a fighter who was fighting above 130 pounds for only the third time.
Pacquiao weighed 138 pounds for the fight to 140 for Hatton, and was fighting a bigger man for the second time in a row. But nothing seems to bother the boxer who is so popular at home that there is talk of him running for president some day.
Pacquiao (49-3-2, 37 knockouts) earned $12 million for the fight, while Hatton (45-2) was paid $8 million.

PACQUIAO RULES!!!!

Yahu!!! Pacman won over Hitman. Round 2 lang! Knock-out!

... be back later, lunch lang ako hehehehe
WE ARE THE CHAMPION!!!

rAnDoMnEsS

• - 3 nights in a row na kong late natutulog :)
• - realized i am an old soul :)
• - looking forward sa davao trip with che, sister from my past life :)
• - loves positivity
• - still subscribed to godtube/tangle
• - gained more friends from myspace :) rin of rin on rox already approved my invitation
• - magaling pala ang JOURNEY :) hehehehe
• - deleted my flixster account
• - stil hates people na puro yabang (like Ninoy, wala namang ibubuga)
• - i need to lost 20 pounds, grrr (evil grin)
• - eat bulaga is the best
• - pacquiao vs hatton. go pacquiao!
• - i love to sing... :)
• - misses my bestfriends but needs to settle things 1st
• - psyched for the remaining days of 2009

i need this... :)

kailangan ko talaga 'to, promise! i need to diet. i need to diet. i need to diet. i need to diet. i need to diet. i need to diet.. and seriously.... i need to diet. :) :)

begin dieting in five easy steps...

Ah, dieting—such an easy word to build resolutions on, but tough to act upon. Are you guilty of resolving to diet but finding it impossible to even get started—no matter how hard you try?

Maybe you just have the wrong approach to starting a diet. Why don't you try these easy tips from Yahoo! columnist Gabrielle Reece? Note that while these steps look easy enough on print, it still takes discipline for any diet to be truly successful.

Drink only water. "This would eliminate 20 percent of our caloric intake," says Reece. Proper hydration also translates to moisturized skin, better waste excretion, and less risks of colon cancer. Learn how you can follow the eight-glasses-of-water-a-day rule here.

Slowly cut food portions. Dieting does not necessarily mean giving up your favorite food, but halving it can help. Make sure you don't see the other half in case you find yourself craving for more.

Eat breakfast. People tend to overeat throughout the day when they skip breakfast. You can keep extra calories at bay when you get enough energy from a good breakfast.

Keep a food journal. If you're really mindful of your calorie intake, you can keep track of your eating habits by jotting down everything you eat. You can also observe your eating patterns this way and see where you can improve.

Eat dinner before 7PM. This ensures you have enough time to thoroughly digest your food before bedtime.